Attention all fanfic writers of HP slash ships!
I have a fanfiction challenge/contest. I have a list of bad-ish pickup lines. Pick one and use it as your theme and feature the line in the fic.
My favorite for each line gets art drawn by me to illustrate a part in the fic.
Lines are as follows:
1. I miss my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?
2. *touches other's shirt* Is this cotton? *touch crotch* This must be felt!
3. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, but down under...
4. I'm not a slut, I'm just that popular. Wanna fuck me and be the big man on campus?
5. You've been bad. Go to my room!
6. Baby, I'm an American Express lover... You shouldn't go home without one! (muggle terms; american...)
7. I'm a vegetarian, but I'd make an exception for your meat.
8. Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts, I'm gonna give you the blow of your life!
9. Are you god? (no) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel down before you?
10. Brr! My hands are cold! Can I warm them down your pants?
11. That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be cumming too.
12. Are you a cowboy? Can I save a horse? (muggle music reference; american..)
13. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
14. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
15. Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
16. Sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
17. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
18. Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
19. Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
20. Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, fuck it!
21. I'm on top of things. Want to be one of them?
22. Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart and your virginity!
23. I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours? (Muggle terms)
24. Can I flirt with you?
25. Help the homeless! Take me home with you.
26. Be unique and different, say yes!
27. What do you say we go behind that rock and get a little bolder?
28. I'll suck you so hard you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
29. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
30. I want to floss with your pubic hair!
Note: The last one is a bonus one. I will come up with a prize for amusing me.
Pairings I love (but you aren't limited to) are:
Fred x George, Fred x Lee x George, Fred x Harry x George, Fred x Draco x George, Harry x Ron, Seamus x Dean x Seamus, Sirius x Remus, Draco x Harry x Draco, young!Sirius x young!James, young!Sirius x young!Remus x young!James, Any weasleycest, Draco x Ron, Lucius x Draco, Lucius x Harry, Draco x Neville, Harry x Neville, Ron x Neville, Sirius x Snape, Snape x Remus
Best of luck! yay!